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Just a few things I've been meaning to get off my chest because I really can't put them anywhere else without being horribly judged.
I've been a bit scatterbrained the past few weeks and without trying to sound cliche or angsty, things just haven't going the way I wish they would, almost everything seems to be going wrong or bothering me. I can't seem to find anyone to talk to anymore without being laughed at or just flat out ignored. I try so hard to keep interest in things that people present to me, but it gets harder and harder every day to keep a straight face or focus when everything kinda hits you like a semi.
I wish that I could fix myself, but I think I've finallyy hit a brick wall and can only run left and right before it catches up to me again. .. if that makes any sense.
The only thing I have to look forward to, honestly, is having my own companion, at least a dog or cat, since I'm not good enough to be friend material, my words, not someone else's. I try to put effort into a friendship that I know will end up one-sided sooner or later, and I'm tired of trying, because the effort just becomes too much, or runs too short.
It justt... dies. I know it happens, I've learned that quickly and I was alright with it for the longest time. I was told that it was normal to lose friends, especially when you get older.
And, again, I'm completely alright with that.
I don't know if this particular problem is making everything else worse, or even remotely contributes to everything else. But it's definitely something that I've been struggling with.
Other things that have been bothering me range from how deviants have been treating other deviants, the direction that trades are going, to having so little space to be able to move around and work with and wishing I could work as quickly as everyone else.
I've generally been frustrated and over-sensitive. I started crying a few nights ago for something so menial here on dA, for god's sake!
I know I shouldn't take things so personally, but it sucks being tossed at the end of the line, especially when you prioritize them. I greatly apologize because it feels like I'm at wit's end, with everything that gets thrown at me. Whether it be replying to notes, comments or even just trying to get through a regular day. I keep telling myself "maybe later, I can't right now without snapping and having a nervous break-down". The truth is, yes, I am avoiding you. Not for the reason you think. It really isn't you, its hard to explain. There's just times I can't find my words, I don't know what to say. I'm feeling sad and don't want the wrong words to tumble out, I don't want to come off as snippy or angry. Recently, that's all I've really been feeling. Minus those few hours that I'm legitimatly smiling and laughing.
I'm not stressed, I just feel... sad. Who knows, maybe I am, but some days I feel more content just working.
I do want to thank EVERYONE who watches, faves, comments, or even view my art and plushies. I'm absolutely nothing without your guys' support and love.
You all help me learn and grow, and keep me going. You may feel like one person, but every single one of you are my livelihood, and I would have given up doing what I love long ago. <3
I appreciate everyones' incredible patience and understanding. <3
I do apologize for being so down, because i know it's interfering with my work, and I hate to sound so pathetic. Thank you for understanding.
I've been a bit scatterbrained the past few weeks and without trying to sound cliche or angsty, things just haven't going the way I wish they would, almost everything seems to be going wrong or bothering me. I can't seem to find anyone to talk to anymore without being laughed at or just flat out ignored. I try so hard to keep interest in things that people present to me, but it gets harder and harder every day to keep a straight face or focus when everything kinda hits you like a semi.
I wish that I could fix myself, but I think I've finallyy hit a brick wall and can only run left and right before it catches up to me again. .. if that makes any sense.
The only thing I have to look forward to, honestly, is having my own companion, at least a dog or cat, since I'm not good enough to be friend material, my words, not someone else's. I try to put effort into a friendship that I know will end up one-sided sooner or later, and I'm tired of trying, because the effort just becomes too much, or runs too short.
It justt... dies. I know it happens, I've learned that quickly and I was alright with it for the longest time. I was told that it was normal to lose friends, especially when you get older.
And, again, I'm completely alright with that.
I don't know if this particular problem is making everything else worse, or even remotely contributes to everything else. But it's definitely something that I've been struggling with.
Other things that have been bothering me range from how deviants have been treating other deviants, the direction that trades are going, to having so little space to be able to move around and work with and wishing I could work as quickly as everyone else.
I've generally been frustrated and over-sensitive. I started crying a few nights ago for something so menial here on dA, for god's sake!
I know I shouldn't take things so personally, but it sucks being tossed at the end of the line, especially when you prioritize them. I greatly apologize because it feels like I'm at wit's end, with everything that gets thrown at me. Whether it be replying to notes, comments or even just trying to get through a regular day. I keep telling myself "maybe later, I can't right now without snapping and having a nervous break-down". The truth is, yes, I am avoiding you. Not for the reason you think. It really isn't you, its hard to explain. There's just times I can't find my words, I don't know what to say. I'm feeling sad and don't want the wrong words to tumble out, I don't want to come off as snippy or angry. Recently, that's all I've really been feeling. Minus those few hours that I'm legitimatly smiling and laughing.I'm not stressed, I just feel... sad. Who knows, maybe I am, but some days I feel more content just working.
I do want to thank EVERYONE who watches, faves, comments, or even view my art and plushies. I'm absolutely nothing without your guys' support and love.
You all help me learn and grow, and keep me going. You may feel like one person, but every single one of you are my livelihood, and I would have given up doing what I love long ago. <3I appreciate everyones' incredible patience and understanding. <3
I do apologize for being so down, because i know it's interfering with my work, and I hate to sound so pathetic. Thank you for understanding.
Where to get my commission opening dates
Hello! It's been a while since I posted a journal here. :) This announcement should have come much sooner, but I'm pretty committed to it now. I've found it difficult to juggle multiple pages and decided to stick to using Instagram and Twitter for more up to date announcements and commission openings. For the time being, I will continue to keep uploading final plush photos here for the time being for your enjoyment. But if you're interested in commissions, I would recommend following me at: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/apple.dew/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/AppleDew_ for commission opening dates and notices. Thank you all for supporting me!
Commission Openings and quote forms DELAYED
until further notice.
Queued commissions will be worked on without interruption unless there are situational changes.
INVOICE SENT, thank you!
I still have quite a few commissions in my queue, but I'm looking to refill it a tiny bit. I will only be taking a small handful for now, not FC;FS. If I finish them all sooner, commissions for next month (April) will open sooner. :)
PLEASE TAKE YOUR TIME FILLING OUT THE FORM AND GATHERING YOUR REFERENCE I'll keep them open for about 2-3 days, and the quoting process is much quicker when I have all info completed on the form.
Commission info and quote forms can be found here:
https://linktr.ee/apple.dew
CLOSED, THANK YOU
Finishing up my last few queued up projects and prepping for another load of projects. Please limit yourself to 2 quote forms.
Picking in progress.... :)
linktr.ee/apple.dew
© 2015 - 2024 AppleDew
Comments29
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I love you. I know what you mean about the friends thing. I've been experiencing that a lot in my life too, as well as motivation and stuff.
But I'm glad you could vent and I'm here for you if ever you need a hand or a venting-to person. <3 I know we're not like "friends" or anything but yeah, just wanted to throw that out there.
But I'm glad you could vent and I'm here for you if ever you need a hand or a venting-to person. <3 I know we're not like "friends" or anything but yeah, just wanted to throw that out there.